Here's a headline for you!
The Pope is visiting Washington, DC and Senator John F. Kerry takes him out for an afternoon on the Potomac, sailing on the Heinz family yacht. They're admiring the sights when, all of a sudden, the Pope's zucchetto (hat) blows off his head and out into the water. Secret service guys start to launch a boat, but Sen. Kerry waves them off, saying, "Wait, wait, I'll take care of this. Don't worry."
Kerry then steps off the yacht onto the surface of the water, and walks out to the Holy Father's hat, bends over and picks it up, then walks back to the yacht and climbs aboard. He hands the hat to the Pope amid stunned silence.
The next morning, the headlines in The Wall Street Journal, Washington Times, National Review, Weekly Standard, Orange County Register and the Fox News Network proclaim: "KERRY CAN'T SWIM!"