And they were trying to be so serious!
The following quotes are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are alleged to be things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Dom forwarded them to me, noting that I had probably seen them before. One of the benefits of getting old is failing memory - so while I may have seen them before, I've forgotten and found them funny. Perhaps you never saw them - or like me, you can't remember if you did ;-)
|
Q: Are you sexually active? A: No, I just lie there. |
|
Q: What is your date of birth? A: July 15th. Q: What year? A: Every year. |
|
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
|
|
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? |
|
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years. |
|
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning? A: He said, Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan. |
|
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? |
|
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken? |
|
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time? |
|
Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls? |
|
Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female? |
|
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. |
|
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. |
|
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral. |
|
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy. |
|
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
|